


Lend Me Your Legs

by Fayolinn



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Wings, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2013-11-21
Packaged: 2017-12-31 10:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1030724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fayolinn/pseuds/Fayolinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Both of Levi’s legs are broken in battle - with no one else available, Eren becomes his caretaker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not Meant To Bend Like That

**Author's Note:**

> Eren's 18 and Levi's 33. A few manga spoilers included.

_Shit, shit, shit!_

An arc of blood flew from the edges of Eren’s blades as he sliced the skin of a titan’s neck, coating one of his wings in the steamy red substance. It threw off his balance as well as concentration while he attempted to shake his feathers free from the offending stain. Distracted, Eren let out a shout as he narrowly avoided a vicious swipe from a 4-meter titan running past. Forced to evade with such little notice, he descended in a tight spiral and ducked into a shadowed alcove.

 _Damn, that was way too close!_ Folding his wing so that he could quickly clean it, Eren set to work, all the while cursing his luck. This was a Scouting Legion expedition – just like all the others he had participated in for the last three years – but this one was particularly frustrating and Eren felt even more on edge than usual. With strict orders from Commander Irwin himself, he was forbidden to shift into a titan with no other explanation other than ‘to minimize property damage.’

Since when had property become more valuable than human lives?

Eren grit his teeth, venturing a glance outside his shelter. _I’m probably not getting the full story,_ he tried to reason with himself, ruffling his feathers impatiently as he examined his work. _Levi probably knows, but chances of him filling me in are next to none._

After a moment, Eren huffed loudly; he couldn’t be bothered by the imperfect result of his work. It wouldn’t pass Levi’s standards, but it would have to do – he had already taken too much time. Checking his blades, Eren was further dismayed to find he was down to his last pair.

_Definitely no room for error now._

Stretching his wings, Eren crouched, thrumming with energy he knew he shouldn’t be able to have. His bones were aching, his muscles sore – this battle had been progressing for at least a couple hours now – and yet by sheer willpower alone he was able to force his body to fight on. As long as there were still titans to kill, forfeiting wasn’t an option. Eren launched himself into the air with a mighty heave, wings beating heavily to keep him airborne.

Ten seconds hadn’t even progressed before a titan tried to snatch him from the air, fat fingers just barely skimming the tips of his primaries. With a snarl, Eren twisted and dove, jamming his blades into the titan’s skin and ripping off a slice from its neck.  It took an extra amount of effort, though, and Eren realized with a grimace that his blades were dulling.

It was then that a shriek to his left grabbed his attention. Gaining a higher altitude for a better and safer vantage point, Eren watched in grim horror as another titan curled a fist around a female soldier’s wing, snapping the bone like a twig before shoving the wailing owner into its mouth, silencing the piteous cries.

Eren ground his teeth angrily, bringing his hand up to his mouth on instinct before remembering the orders Irwin had given him. The brunette tightened his grip on the blade handles, clearly vexed. Would it hurt to disobey just this once? Weren’t some rules meant to be broken? Surely the consequences wouldn’t outweigh the outcome if more people survived because he had chosen to shift—

“ _Eren._ ”

Brought back to reality in an instant, Eren whirled around to find himself within a yard’s distance of Corporal Levi, hovering with the steady rhythm of his sleek ebony wings. The man was always just so damn _silent_. It was a deadly skill he used to every advantage and no doubt one of the many reasons why his titan kill count was off the charts.

“Enjoying the view?” Levi’s words were mocking, but his tone was severe. It was a round-about demand for ‘what the fuck do you think you’re doing?’

Excuses weren’t tolerated, so Eren skipped to the point. “Why can’t I transform?” It sounded like a whiny plea and no doubt Levi thought of it as such, but he wanted answers. “What does it matter if a few buildings are destroyed? Commander Irwin doesn’t have to know—”

“Just because he’s not here with us doesn’t mean he won’t find out,” Levi countered, fixing Eren with a stony stare. Irwin had been unable to accompany them ever since his accident when Eren was fifteen, having suffered the loss of both an arm and a wing.

“You’d—you’d tell him?”

“Regardless if I tattle on you or not, the answer is no, you can’t.” When Eren tried to argue, Levi sneered. “We don’t have time for this, Eren. You can either do your job or watch your friends die.”

Eren scowled; after three years, he was still unable to win an argument against Levi (though he liked to think he had come close several times). However, today wasn’t the day to try and succeed, so the boy held his temper at bay. “My remaining blades are dull,” he admitted, holding the blood-soaked weapons aloft.

Levi’s steely eyes ran along them once. “Alright. You can have some of my—”

A blood-curdling scream nearby chilled Eren’s blood, causing the rhythm of his wingbeats to stutter. Lowering his gaze, his suspected fears were confirmed – Armin’s leg was held captive in a titan’s grasp despite his desperate attempts to free himself. The blonde boy’s rounded wings strained with effort, though it was clear he wouldn’t succeed on his own.

“Armin, I’m coming!” Eren flattened his wings against his back, diving at a steep angle. Levi shouted something after him, but Eren was deaf to everything except Armin’s cries. With a yell, the brunette raised his blades and brought them down upon the targeted titan’s wrist, using all his strength to cut through bone. The severed hand fell, taking Eren’s blades with it. Armin was free, but now he was weaponless.

Without a second thought, Eren dropped after them. They were right there, lying beside the bloody, steaming appendage. All he needed to do was swoop down and grab them as he passed. Spreading his wings to decelerate, Eren reached to seize them, unaware that the titan above him now viewed him as the primary target and was intent on carrying out revenge.

“ _EREN!_ ”

Armin’s warning exclamation alerted him a moment too late; looking up, Eren watched – as if detached from his body – as the titan slammed its remaining hand against the wall above him, showering everything below in debris and dust. There was no time to react or escape; Eren was hardly even cognizant of the fact that he was being roughly pushed out of the way, sent sprawled backwards and wings awkwardly splayed, but surprisingly safe and most importantly, alive.

Eren watched in a daze as Mikasa suddenly swooped in and finished the titan off. She was a flurry of black and white, the rapid movement of her wings bringing her to Eren’s side in the same amount of time it took Eren to slowly blink once.

“Eren, are you alright?” she instantly demanded, resting a hand on her brother’s shoulder.

Shaking his head to rid his hair of rubble, he assured her he was. A bit shaken, yes, but he was fine. He comforted Armin in the same way when he landed not long after, blue eyes wide with worry.

Realizing how lucky he was to be unharmed, Eren paused. “Wait… which one of you pushed me out of the way?”

Mikasa and Armin shared a confused glance between them, eyeing Eren quizzically together. “I was killing the titan, Eren,” Mikasa explained slowly, “and Armin was nowhere near you when you were almost crushed. I had assumed you had somehow managed to jump away?”

The brunette shook his head firmly. “No, I couldn’t have. There was no time. I felt someone push me back, but I couldn’t tell who it was… Armin? Do you…” Eren’s voice trailed off as he caught sight of Armin’s expression – he was staring at a place somewhere near the dead titan. “Armin? Are you alright?”

“I think it was the corporal…”

“What? Speak up, I can’t hear you when you speak that softly.”

Armin finally met Eren’s eye, shaking visibly. “I think it was Levi who helped you, and… and I didn’t see him fly away. I think he’s… he’s still over there.”

Eren’s breath hitched. _Levi_ had saved him? Scrambling to his feet, Eren stumbled over to the giant pile of debris and wreckage, heart hammering madly and skipping several beats. Oh god, if Levi was dead because of him, because of his stupidity and rash actions – no, it couldn’t be happening all over again. He couldn’t bear to live with this consequence. He had already been responsible, directly and indirectly, for the deaths of family and numerous friends; to think that he would have to add Humanity’s Strongest Soldier to the list—

“Corporal Levi!”

There was a body, at least. Eren felt his blood run cold for the second time that day at the sight of Levi’s crumpled form, covered in dust and rubble, lying on his stomach and unmoving. He was faintly pleased to notice that the corporal’s wings, though unnaturally dirtied and ruffled, were still bent in all the right ways. A miracle, but it wouldn’t count for anything if the owner’s life was already lost…

“Sir, Corporal Levi, can you hear me…” Eren lowered himself onto his knees, trying to quell his rising panic. Brushing the hair from Levi’s eyes, Eren wiped the dust from the older man’s eyelashes, nose, and mouth, hoping the touches would result in some sort of reaction. His thumb lingered on Levi’s lips, wondering if mouth-to-mouth would be necessary, and his spine tingled at the thought. “Corporal, oh please, please say something…”

He heard footsteps behind him, signaling Mikasa and Armin’s approach. He turned to them, a touch of alarm lacing his voice. “He’s not responding!”

Armin gasped, but Mikasa stepped forward calmly, masking her own fear. “Does he have a pulse?”

Eren swallowed but hastened to check, pressing two fingers to the side of Levi’s neck. He let out a shaky breath after several seconds (had he really forgotten to breathe just then?) as he felt a faint pulse beneath his fingertips – Levi was _alive_.

“Turn him on his back,” Mikasa directed. “We need to get him conscious.”

Eren nodded quickly, moving to comply. It was then that he realized Levi’s legs were buried under the wreckage, a sizeable piece resting directly on top. Resisting a wince, he pointed it out his comrades. “Do you think you guys could move that while I pull him out?”

Armin appeared doubtful, but did his best to disguise it like Mikasa. “We’ll have to hurry, before another titan comes.”

Mikasa and Armin took their places and affirmed they were ready. Eren hooked his hands beneath Levi’s arms, his mouth set in a grim line. “Alright. On the count of three. One, two, _three_ —”

Eren pulled and the other two pushed. Levi suddenly sprang to life, letting out a sharp, tormented cry.

“Levi!” Eren breathed, all honorifics forgotten as he cradled the corporal to his chest, face-up. He sank down onto his knees again; he never would’ve guessed he’d be so grateful to merely see the corporal _breathe_.

But Eren’s happiness quickly dissipated as he began to notice the older man’s ragged breathing, the tenseness of his jawline, and the way his eyes shone with the muted pain he refused to voice. Fear started to crawl through Eren’s veins; for Levi to be expressing even the slightest amount of pain, something must be very, very wrong.

“Sir… what’s—” Eren was interrupted by a squeak from Armin, and his stomach dropped uncomfortably.

“His legs…”

Eren’s heart grew heavy with dread, and when he finally mustered the courage to look for himself, he wished all the same he hadn’t. He looked away fast, feeling tears prick his eyes. Whatever the damage, it wasn’t good. There was blood – lots of blood… and it wasn’t titan blood, or else it’d be steaming…

He was also sure legs weren’t meant to bend like that.

This was his fault – all _his_ goddamn fault. He had required saving once again, damn it all, and Levi was hurt even worse than before. If he had just waited to receive new blades before rushing in to rescue Armin… If he had just _listened…_

Eren turned back to Levi, hoping to soothe him in any way possible, but anything he had in mind died on his lips. No apology could fix this – nothing he could say would improve anything. He knew Levi must be angry with him or disappointed, or most likely a mixture of the two, and he doubted he’d ever gain the man’s respect after this ordeal.

Would Levi even talk to him after this?

“Eren.” Mikasa’s voice interrupted his anxious thoughts. “We need to get to safety and bring the corporal back for medical attention.”

Eren hesitated but knew Mikasa was right. He bit his bottom lip as he carefully slid one arm around Levi’s shoulders (wings tucked carefully against his back) and the other beneath his legs at the knee joint. He nearly whimpered as Levi flinched with a soft “ _shit,_ ” his shallow breaths quickening.

“I’m sorry, sir, I’m so sorry,” he repeated in a mantra as he slowly stood, following Armin. (Mikasa had decided to continue to fight, excusing herself reluctantly. “I’ll call the retreat. With the corporal out of commission, it looks like we’ve done all we can.”) He wanted to return as quickly as he could, whether by running on foot or flying, but he had to maintain an even, steady pace to avoid jostling the older man as much as possible. It was like he could _feel_ the precious time slipping away.

He was about to apologize for the umpteenth time when,

“I will kick the shit out of you all over again if you say ‘sorry’ one more time.”

It was quiet and strained, but it definitely came from Levi.

“Ah—sorry— _yes_ , sir.”

Levi’s eyes were still closed (and had been since they had started walking back to the cart, so Eren had assumed he had lost consciousness again), so he failed to see the faint smile on the brunette’s lips. If the corporal was swearing at him again, then things were starting to look for the better.

Right?

“How are you feeling?” Eren ventured, thankful when the cart came into sight, horses already prepped.

Levi exhaled slowly through his nose, mouth pressed in a thin line. “Better, I believe.”

Eren brightened a little more. “Already?”

“Yeah.” Levi turned his head, opening his eyes to look directly at Eren. “I can’t feel my legs anymore.”


	2. Hold Him Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Character wing references provided below!
> 
> (these were just general references I made for myself - some characters listed will not be included in this fic, like Petra.)
> 
> http://fayolinn.deviantart.com/art/SnK-Wings-1-2-400596271  
> http://fayolinn.deviantart.com/art/SnK-Wings-2-2-400596349

“Hold him down, Eren.”

Eren met Hanji’s eyes with evident nervousness, raising his hands uncertainly. “I… me?”

Hanji, though usually thriving with bubbly energy, nodded curtly without even a trace of a smile. Her eyes were narrowed with focus and authority. “Yes. If you insist on staying, you’re going to help, and we can’t afford to waste time.” She murmured a few words to the doctor by her side who responded with a small bow and took his place by the foot of Levi’s bed. Irwin, who had been standing in the shadows staring at Levi with a guarded expression, stepped forward to stand by the corporal’s right wing.

The dark pair of wings was extended on either side atop two adjacent beds perpendicular to the one Levi lay on. They weren’t nearly long enough – the primaries tapered over the edge, for what Levi lacked in height he made up in wingspan – but they were sufficient enough and allowed Levi to lie flat on his back. Hanji took her place by Levi’s left wing and adjusted her glasses, looking expectantly at Eren. “Stand by his head. You’ll hold his shoulders down.”

Eren opened his mouth to speak but the words wouldn’t come. He had felt obligated to remain because this was his responsibility, his _fault_ , but he hadn’t expected to be asked to assist. Looking down at his hands, he realized he was shaking.

“I’m supposed to hold… wait, hold him _down_? What—”

“We’re going to re-break his legs, Eren.” It was Irwin’s turn to speak; the man’s expression was unnervingly somber. Ignoring the horrified glance Eren shot at him, he leaned forward and laid the length of his forearm across the covert marginals of Levi’s wing, gripping the feathers surrounding the bone in his grasp. Hanji did the same.

“Go on,” she encouraged, bracing herself against the bed. “Stand there and hold his shoulders. He’s barely conscious right now, but since we lack the proper sedatives, he’ll be feeling it pretty soon.”

“B-But just before he blacked out again, he said he couldn’t feel—”

“Trust me, Eren.”

Eren felt his heart rate quicken as he obeyed, coming to stand at the head of the bed. He lowered his gaze to Levi’s prone form and felt his throat constrict. They had stripped the man of everything but his ivory pants (which had been ripped at mid-thigh so that his legs could be treated, and Eren couldn’t bear to look at them without becoming borderline nauseous).

The brunette knew this was necessary to check for other lesser wounds, but he couldn’t deny it was terribly distracting as his eyes lingered on the faint bruises the 3DMG straps left behind (mirroring his own), the contours of the man’s bare chest, the sharp jut of his collarbones, or the teasing dip where his hipbones met the hemline of his pants—

“Eren!”

Eren jumped, feeling his cheeks burn. “Ah! Sorry!” He rested his hands where Levi’s neck met his shoulders, fingertips and palms pressing against slightly-fevered skin. The corporal appeared strangely serene, face slack and relaxed, and Eren hated himself even more knowing what came next would ruin the man’s ignorant bliss. With a sigh, he nodded to signal he was ready.

Hanji made eye contact with the doctor and bobbed her head once.

“Leg one. Go.”

Eren heard a sickening crack and like hours before, Levi awoke and reacted immediately with a short, agonized scream, gritting his teeth against a harsh groan. Eren gasped but tightened his grip (Hanji and Irwin did likewise as Levi thrashed his wings, most likely an involuntary action), watching as Humanity’s Strongest Soldier writhed beneath him. By the time Eren thought to try and soothe the man, however, Levi had stopped squirming. His chest was heaving with exertion, short breaths passing through pale parted lips, but his struggle had stopped. Eren knew the corporal had a high pain tolerance, but was it really possible to rein in pain _that_ quickly?

The boy shut his eyes, knowing what was to come.

“Leg two. Go.”

Another crack; a gut-wrenching scream, shorter but louder than the last; the fluid strain and struggle of muscle beneath his fingers… and then it was over.

The span of a minute seemed to have lasted a lifetime, and when Eren finally cracked open his eyes, Hanji and Irwin were already standing to the side talking in low tones to each other. The doctor was bandaging Levi’s legs, wrapping in metal splints.

Eren heard a weak moan and realized he still had (what was now) an unnecessarily hard grip on Levi’s shoulders. Removing his hands as if burned by fire, Levi finally relaxed, seeming to melt into the sheets. The man’s skin was now coated in a fine layer of cold sweat, and except for the tensed furrow of his brow, appeared to have no lingering pain. This, of course, was more than likely a lie and Eren couldn’t even begin to imagine the nightmare Levi was living.

“Eren.” Hanji quietly approached, touching his upper arm lightly. Her expression was no longer stern, but soft and full of sympathy. “Let’s let him rest. We’ll get you something to eat and clean you up, hm?”

Eren opened his mouth, then closed it. A part of him wanted to stay – he couldn’t explain why, but it felt like more than just an obligation. He looked up, catching Hanji’s eye, then Irwin’s. Another part of him wanted to speak with the commander and get the answers he was yearning for. But upon seeing the unspoken exhaustion in the older man’s eye that must’ve been mirroring his own, he sighed quietly and nodded.

“Yeah,” he mumbled and allowed Hanji to lead him away for a proper meal and bath. On the way out the door, Eren cast a look over his shoulder; he couldn’t be sure due to the distance and poor lighting, but he swore he saw the corporal watching him.

* * *

Eren returned to his room and bathed, sitting in the tub mulling over his thoughts for so long that Hanji eventually knocked to ask if he had drowned or fallen asleep. She also brought in a meal for him; Eren was grateful for her perceptiveness because she was keen enough to notice he wasn’t in the mood for socializing and eating along with the others.

So he ate in solitude and silence, chewing his food without tasting it, staring without seeing. It wasn’t like he was _depressed_ … but his heart felt heavy and burdened and so he went to bed far earlier than usual.

Still, he couldn’t avoid human contact forever, so he found himself at breakfast the next morning sitting across from Armin, who watched him covertly with concern. Eren hadn’t muttered a word except a meager “hello” upon his arrival at the table; the unnatural hush was making Armin nervous, so he took a chance and spoke up.

“So… how is he?”

Eren swirled his soup with his spoon, pretending at first he hadn’t heard Armin’s question. Seeing his friend’s shoulder’s sag upon his delayed answer, though, caused Eren to carefully set the spoon down – his usually voracious appetite still wasn’t cooperating – and look up. “How is who?”

He knew very well who, and Armin knew it, too.

“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay,” Armin replied softly, shuffling his wings as he, too, set down his spoon.

Eren exhaled loudly, running his hands through his already-tousled hair before reaching out to touch Armin’s hand lightly in apology. “No, it’s alright. It’s just, it was… he is… I think he’s okay.” The brunette threw in a small shrug with a half-hearted smile. “He’s alive, at least. If he didn’t die overnight.” Eren suddenly paled at the thought.

Armin grinned nonetheless, trying to keep a sunny disposition as he took a bite of his bread loaf. “I’m pretty sure they would’ve told us, and that’s what matters most at this point, isn’t it? That he’s alive?” He paused to tuck a stray strand of hair behind his ear. Armin’s hair had grown slightly past his shoulders at this point, and he kept half of it tied back; Eren had to admit the appearance suited him, made him look older. “The corporal’s a tough man, Eren. I’m pretty sure he’ll pull through. I mean, he survived the whole trip back to the wall!”

“Yeah… he is.” Eren stared back into his soup, hoping to regain his willingness to eat. “But it… i-it was awful, Armin, just awful.” And suddenly it was like a dam had burst and Eren couldn’t stop talking. “I was there in the room with him because I felt like I should, y’know? It’s because of me that he was hurt so I stayed, and then Hanji asks me to help and I didn’t understand what she was talking about at first, but Commander Irwin explains that they needed to re-break his legs, Armin. _Re-break_ them! I had to help hold him still as they rebroke each leg and Armin, his screams, his _screams_ were the worst and I just… it was…” Eren rubbed his eyes viciously with his palms, forcing himself to breathe deeply. “God, it was fucking _awful_ …”

The initial horror in Armin’s eyes dissolved into sympathy as he listened; he reached out to comfort Eren just as Jean took the opportunity to walk up, Mikasa not far behind.

“Jean,” she warned in a low voice.

But Jean ignored her, seating himself next to Eren, who glared at him with wet eyes. The glare lacked hostility, but it was evident the shorter of the two brunettes wasn’t cheered upon his arrival.

“When you’re done sulking, I have a message for you.” Jean had folded his hands on the table, sparing Armin a glance. Judging by his face, he was speaking the truth; he hadn’t stopped by to spite Eren in years, so why would he start now?

Eren seemed to accept this as fact, albeit slightly begrudgingly, and tucked his wings closer to his body to avoid hitting Jean’s.

“What is it?”

“You done?”

Eren’s frown deepened, but he straightened and blinked the wetness away. “Yeah, if you’re done being an ass.”

Jean’s wings flared somewhat, though he otherwise exhibited no reaction. “Commander Irwin would like to speak to you.” He sent a pointed look over his shoulder to Mikasa as if to prove he hadn’t been lying. She sighed a little, but sensing nothing was too amiss, excused herself with a tender smile to Eren and Armin. Jean continued, “When you’re done stirring your soup to death, you should go and see him.”

Eren stared at Jean with poorly-hidden incredulity before realizing this shouldn’t be a surprise at all – of course the commander would want to speak with him about yesterday’s events. Hadn’t Eren been the one to originally want to speak to the man? “Do you know what he wants?” Eren pressed, wondering how much Jean knew.

Apparently not much. Jean shrugged, wings rising and falling in sync with his shoulders. “I just happened to be passing his office and I guess he mistook me for you. Don’t know why that keeps happening,” he added on a sour note, reaching for Eren’s cup before remembering it wasn’t his.

“Maybe it’s because your wings are similar in color?” Armin piped up, handing Jean his own cup. “And maybe he still remembers that one time you dressed as Eren inside Wall Sina.”

Eren scoffed and Jean nearly choked on the drink. “Never again,” the latter managed, wiping the corner of his mouth.

“Besides, my wings are nothing like his.” As if to prove his point, Eren unfolded his wing closest to Jean by a fraction, pointing to the dark stripe of feathers running down the middle. “Mine’s dark and his is light, like his weird-ass hair.” Jean scowled, but Eren flashed him a small grin to ease the tension. “And the shape’s different; his is all angles.”

“Nothing wrong with that.” Jean seemed to puff his chest out and raised his chin. “Sasha and Historia’s are shaped that way, too; insult mine, and you insult theirs!”

 _And Petra’s_ , Eren wanted to add sadly, but held his tongue. “I never said there was anything wrong with the shape,” he muttered, looking away to take a bite of soup. “Just… _different_.”

Armin smiled to himself, watching Jean and Eren interact and converse about trivial matters. Eren’s mood had brightened significantly from moments before and it was thanks to Jean, no less. Eren was also _eating_ again. He wanted to remind Eren that he had a meeting with the commander to attend, but decided against ruining his friend’s progress. It could wait until after Eren was finished.

* * *

“You wanted to speak with me, Commander Irwin?” Eren bowed his head as he entered, closing the door behind him. He was by no means intimidated by the man but still respected him immensely. The fact that Irwin no longer had two complete arms or wings hadn’t diminished his authority in the least.

“Take a seat, Eren.” Irwin gestured to the seat opposite his, facing the desk. His tone was kind and his smile was gentle, and his mild demeanor both consoled and discomforted Eren. Doing as he was told, the boy closed his eyes momentarily to compose himself; Irwin waited patiently.

Eventually: “Are you going to ask about what happened yesterday?” Eren asked while regarding Irwin steadily, though his uneasiness was betrayed by the way he wrung his hands in his lap.

Irwin dipped his head. “That might help. I’d like to hear your take on it.”

 _Your take._ It sounded like he had already asked Levi for his side of the story. Eren took a large breath, stilling his hands.

“We made it to the city and sure enough, there were titans there as predicted, so we engaged them. The fighting went on for a couple hours, and I… I refrained from shifting like you asked,” Eren murmured, noticing the way Irwin nodded approvingly.

“Then, my… my blades were getting dull and I was running out, and that’s about when Levi came up to me. I told him my problem and he offered to give me more blades, but then Armin was in trouble, so I… went to help.” Eren fidgeted, but Irwin needed the truth. “So I did; I freed Armin, but my blades were lodged in the titan’s severed hand so I rushed to get them back – I wasn’t thinking, I know I should’ve gone back to Levi for more, but I panicked and, and I was stupid, and—”

Irwin held up his hand to stop the boy. “Settle down, Eren, it’s alright.” He waited until Eren had calmed before asking him to proceed again.

“I froze up and couldn’t move so I just stood there and I probably would’ve been completely crushed if Corporal Levi hadn’t…” Eren closed his eyes. “If he hadn’t pushed me out of the way.”

“I see.” Irwin hummed gravely, rubbing his chin. “Your intentions were noble and your friend was saved, but you did place yourself – and in the end, others – in harm’s way, and that could’ve easily been avoided.” Eren winced, but said nothing. “I could admonish you for this, Eren, but I can tell you’ve already done that to yourself many times over. Keep in mind that you are a human, not a monster, and humans make mistakes.” The older man’s eyes softened. “I also have a question for you.”

Eren perked up, leaning forward slightly. “Yes, sir?”

“Do you know why I specifically asked you not to transform?”

The brunette tried to speak several times but couldn’t seem to find his voice. In the end, all he said was, “No, sir.”

“Did you want to?”

“Very much so, yes. Did—” He cut himself off quickly.

A pause. “Yes?”

With softer volume, Eren asked, “Did Levi mention that I almost did?”

Irwin examined Eren carefully. “He did not.”

Eren’s eyes widened and he quickly ducked his head. So Levi hadn’t ratted him out after all… “Oh. I… I just don’t understand why I couldn’t. To ‘minimize property damage’? That’s never hindered us before! Why does it suddenly matter now? I might’ve been able to kill more titans and save more people!”

“Indeed.” Eren was clearly taken aback by his straightforward answer, so the commander quickly elaborated. “Keep in mind that building repairs _are_ fairly costly, so I believe the reason I presented to you is sensible. However.” Irwin rested his chin on the knuckles of his hand, expression solemn. “While your ability to shift into a titan is now considered a gift and advantage, we can’t have you relying on it like a crutch. I need you to be confident in your own skills. If you were to one day come to captain your own squad, you can’t quite do so effectively as a titan, can you?”

Eren dug his nails into his palms, feeling his neck burn in shame. This had been a test… had he disappointed Irwin? “No, sir.”

Irwin ran his thumb along his jawline. “Still, I take some fault in this matter. I should have been straight up with you in the beginning, and perhaps Levi’s injury could’ve been avoided… Speaking of Levi – have you been in to see him yet since yesterday?”

“Ah, I…” Eren hesitated, tensing his wings. “I-I didn’t know if he wanted to see me, if it was allowed, or if he’s even awake—”

The blonde man chuckled. “Relax, Eren, I can ease your doubts and assure that the answer to all three of those questions is yes.”

Eren’s mouth hung open as he blinked dumbly at Irwin. “I—he is—he’s—”

“Yes, he wants to see you. As soon as possible.”

Eren felt his stomach twist as he stood partway out of his seat. “So… is—is now alright? Am I excused?”

Irwin patiently nodded in affirmation. “Yes, Eren. You may leave now, thank you.”

Half breathless with anticipation, Eren rose and bowed hurriedly before striding towards the door. He didn’t know exactly what he was expecting from this encounter, but he knew better than to go in with high hopes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you to Fim for looking this over!! Guess she could be considered the wonderful unofficial beta for this. (:


	3. Chosen Caretaker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> small FYI - I've never broken a bone in my body so I'm doing the best I can with what research I can find...  
> if anyone has experience in this area or notices anything wrong, send me a message. Thanks!

_‘He wants to see you. As soon as possible.’_

The blood roaring in Eren’s ears drowned out his echoing footsteps, leaving behind a sensation of gripping, unexplainable anxiety.

Irwin hadn’t displayed any signs of distress concerning the corporal’s condition, which had lead Eren to believe that perhaps the worst had passed. Levi was now on the road to recovery, and though it might be rocky and time-consuming, this temporary nightmare would eventually disperse.

But as he approached Levi’s room and hesitated before the door, Eren couldn’t be sure. Maybe Irwin was bluffing? What if the worst had yet to come? All the commander had said was that Levi wanted to talk with him – maybe he was leaving him the honors of delivering the heavy blows?

Eren shook his head roughly and let a shudder run down his spine and all the through the tips of his wings. Regardless, Levi was waiting.

He knocked on the wood softly, pressing his ear against the smooth surface to catch any sound within. Hearing none, he tentatively pushed the door open, peering inside.

The room was blanketed in a soft silence, interrupted intermittently by birdsong through the open window. The curtains were pulled back, rustling lightly with the breeze; none of the staleness or tangy scent of blood from the previous night lingered. Dappled sunlight filtered in and glanced off the dull tips of Levi’s primaries, still splayed across the length of the two beds. Eren winced. For once, the corporal’s wings were in a worse condition than his; this meant the corporal hadn’t yet had a proper bath, and that couldn’t bode well for Levi’s mood.

He closed the door softly behind him, leaning against it with a light _thump_. Levi hadn’t moved – except for the slight rise and fall of his (no longer bare) chest – leaving Eren with the assumption that the man was asleep. His gaze fell to the chair by Levi’s bedside. Should he sit there until Levi was ready to wake? It felt awfully rude to force him awake, and no doubt he’d only earn a snappy response. Snappier than usual, at least.

Eren pushed his weight off the door, closing the distance between them. As he neared, his attention was drawn to Levi’s legs; they were hidden beneath a blanket, draped from his toes to his chest, but it was clear they were propped up with a pillow or two. Eren recalled the doctor bandaging them with metal splints and almost winced again at the thought of metal rods helping the bones reset properly and not being able to run, let alone walk, and how uncomfortable it must feel, and—

“When you’re done staring, you can sit.”

Eren jumped as if doused in freezing water, flaring his wings involuntarily. “Jesus, Levi!” _Shit_. “C- _Corporal_ Levi. I didn’t…” Taking deep breaths, Eren rested a hand on his chest to steady his racing heart. “You’re awake.”

“I’d commend you for your intelligence, Eren, but one thing at a time. Sit.” Levi glanced at the chair behind the boy before blinking drowsily at Eren again. “That’s what the chair is for.”

Eren slowly obeyed, sinking into the wooden chair.

Levi sighed, closing his eyes as if giving such instructions had sapped his remaining strength. “Congratulations.”

Overlooking the apparent sarcasm, Eren rubbed his palms together and shifted in his seat, searching for a round-about way to discover exactly what Levi wanted to talk with him about. “Did you… sleep well last night?”

Eren regretted his question immediately, especially when Levi regarded him with those hooded eyes of his, surrounded by dark circles. “Do I _look_ like I slept well last night?”

Eren pursed his lips. “If it’s any consolation… I didn’t sleep well either?”

“What, because your tummy was upset?” Levi’s smirk was devoid of humor. “It’s a good thing both your shinbones weren’t fractured because let me tell you, nothing keeps you awake like the pain of broken tibias and fibulas.”

Eren couldn’t hold back a strained whimper. Levi was silent for a moment before he sighed quietly, reaching out to gently flick the brunette’s forehead. “Don’t do that, I hate feeling guilty. Look, I’m sorry. It just fucking hurts.”

“No, _I’m_ sorry, it was the wrong thing to ask.” Eren felt Levi watching him but avoided his gaze, instead choosing to pick at a loose thread on his jacket sleeve. “Did you at least eat something?”

Eren heard a light scoff. “I didn’t ask Irwin to send you in to mother me.” Looking up, he tried to speak and justify his actions, but Levi held a bony hand up to stop him. His grey eyes were trained on the ceiling. “Actually, scratch that. There’s something _I_ wanna ask you about that.”

The brunette straightened, raising his chin. “About mothering…?”

“The doctor says I need a caretaker.” Levi inspected his nails, his frown displaying his dissatisfaction at their cleanliness. “He can’t attend to my every need… not that I’d want his hands all over me.” The older man shuddered, letting out a prolonged exhale before sliding his gaze over to Eren again, regarding the young soldier from the corner of his eye. “So I was gonna ask you.”

Eren leaned forward slightly. “Who should be your caretaker? Well, there’s—”

“No, dumbass.” Levi rolled his eyes. “I was going to ask _you_ – if _you_ would be my caretaker.”

Eren’s mouth hung open as his mind reeled with blank thoughts. That wasn’t the response he had been expecting. It took a moment before he could muster: “ _Me_?”

“Is there anyone else in this fucking room?” Levi’s brow twitched. “God, Eren. _Yes_ , you.” The corporal yawned, tilting his head so the ebony bangs fell from his eyes. “Do you have better things to do?”

“No,” Eren answered immediately, swallowing past the lump in his throat. His reply was genuine, but even if he didn’t want to, he owed Levi this much. “I just… I’m surprised you picked me.”

Eren felt like a mouse being watched by a cat as Levi looked him over. “Really? Are you _really_ that surprised?” He cut off Eren again, continuing before he could get a word in edgewise. “Think about it, Eren. Irwin has enough problems as it is, being a _one-armed_ commander. The entire Scouting Legion’s depending on him, and as important as I like to think I am to our cause, he can’t afford to sacrifice his time for one man. As for Hanji, there’s no way I’m allowing those shitty glasses to carry me around.” A long pause. Then, in a hushed tone: “There’s no one else I trust more than you.”

Eren doubted this would be true if the rest of Levi’s original squad was still alive, but he humbly accepted the confession in weighted silence. Levi still trusted him despite the incident…  That alone made all the difference, and Eren felt his heart lighten. He shuffled his wings, feathers sliding against each other with soft whispers. “Thanks,” he managed. “I’ll do it, I’ll help.” If this was how he could make it up to Levi and ease his suffering, then by all means, he’d agree. “Did the doctor tell you how long it’ll take your legs to heal?”

A subtle flash of pain passed across Levi’s face before he could look away. Eren felt like he had been slapped. “Yes,” was the quiet reply.

By the sound of it, the road to recovery would be a long one. “Ah,” was all Eren could say and decided to get the details later from the doctor rather than rub salt in Levi’s wounds. “I, uh… is there anything I can do for you now?”

Levi’s expression quickly regained its usual indifference as he drummed his slender fingers against his chest. “There’s nothing more I’d like now than a bath, though I suppose that could wait until I’ve consumed something more than a glass of water.”

Eren’s eyes widened. “So you _haven’t_ eaten anything since yesterday! That means it’s been over twenty-four hours since you—”

“I’m aware of that,” Levi snapped back, “and that’s why I’m fucking telling you because I’m fucking _hungry_.”

Well, that made sense. Eren shut his mouth and tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ear. “Right, I’ll go get you something, then,” he said lamely, motioning towards the door and standing to leave.

“Good.” The tone was dismissive enough, so Eren turned away, walking a little straighter than usual. When he reached the door though, Levi called his name.

He glanced over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

“If they have those mini éclairs again… I’d like two.”

* * *

“Six _months_?” Eren gaped in horrified shock at the doctor, anxiety gripping his chest again.

“I’m hoping, yes. Perhaps more.” The doctor was a middle-aged man, plainly handsome with dark hair and gentle eyes. He sat across from Eren, patiently explaining his answers to the boy’s questions, forearms resting on his thighs. The boy had returned directly after delivering Levi’s meal (mini éclairs included) and now sat nervously in the doctor’s office. “It’s complicated, Eren. Everyone’s case is different. Are you upset about being assigned to be Levi’s caretaker?”

Eren had admitted that Levi had asked him to be, as he would need directions about how to change the corporal’s bandages and attend to other needs. “No, not at all, it’s just… I didn’t realize it would take that long.” He withered a little. He could handle Levi’s attitude (he had for three years running now), but to be by the man’s side constantly for almost half a year… it was like learning to walk and being asked to run a marathon the next day.

“Like I said, it’s complicated.” The doctor sighed, his facial features easing with sympathy. “Corporal Levi has sustained two tibial open fractures – meaning the bones were completely broken and had even torn the skin.” Eren flinched, forcing gruesome memories away. “I’ve given him stitches and wrapped in metal splints with his bandages, which I’ll teach you how to dress soon. Eventually we’ll be able to remove the stitches once the skin heals. Until then, you’ll have to wash his legs by hand.”

Eren bit the inside of his cheek. Levi’s never allowed him to touch him before – with the exception of carrying him back yesterday – and now he was expected to _wash his legs_. With a jolt, he realized he’d also have to help Levi dress and even take a piss—

“Eren? Are you alright?”

“Huh?” Eren let out a short breath, realizing his cheeks felt hot. “Yeah. Yeah, sorry.” The caliber of the situation and exactly what Levi was asking of him had finally caught up. He had thought it was serious then, but _now_ … “So you’re predicting six months until he’s fully healed? Like, when he won’t need me anymore?”

“Possibly. Even then, his legs will still be weak.” The doctor nodded absently, leaning back in his chair. “He’ll remain bedridden for at least two months. During that time, I’ll teach you both some exercises he can safely perform so that his muscles won’t atrophy too much. Afterwards, we can start with physical therapy and gradually increase the use of his legs.”

“Meaning he can start walking again?”

“It’s a very gradual process, Eren. Only a little walking here, a little there. We can’t put too much weight on the bones too quickly, else we risk another break. This will take the remaining four months, possibly more depending on his condition.”

Eren shifted in his seat, hands resting on his knees. “Will he use crutches?”

The doctor frowned slightly. “Normally this would be the case, but since he’s broken _both_ legs… it will be a little more difficult.” He met Eren’s gaze directly. “We have two choices. Either you and I can assist him by letting him lean on us, or we can construct some sort of walker for him to use.”

Eren tried to imagine Levi attempting the latter method, hunched over a wheeled walker like an elder. “But what if you’re busy or something? What if Commander Irwin and Hanji are also busy and can’t help? What if—”

“Eren, please.” The doctor chuckled. “I’m glad you’re concerned, but there’s no need to worry. This is many months down the road, and I’m sure I’ll have enough time in my day to lend my assistance. Also, there are many competent young men and women in your regimen, is there not?”

The younger brunette suddenly felt a twinge of irrational jealousy over the thought of someone like Jean wrapping his arms around Levi for support. “Yeah,” he mumbled reluctantly under his breath.

“We will work something out, do not fret.” The doctor stood, softly patting the side of Eren’s knee. “Come. Let me show you how to properly dress his bandages.”

* * *

They returned to Levi’s room together. Levi had finished most of his food (which hadn’t been much, but the kitchen staff knew better than to serve a starving man too much food) and placed the tray on Eren’s empty chair. He watched as Eren and the doctor removed the blanket adorning his legs like a caged animal, silent and hyperaware. Eren did his best to ignore him and focus on the doctor’s instructions.

“I secured the bandages with tape at the ends – see here?” The doctor’s finger gently touched an area close to Levi’s knee. “It keeps it in place and prevents unraveling. It’s fairly easy to remove, however.” The doctor proceeded to do so before asking Levi to raise his leg. With the faintest grimace, Levi obeyed and gingerly held his leg aloft a few inches above the bed. It wobbled slightly, so Eren instinctually reached out and cradled Levi’s ankle in his hands, keeping his leg steady. Levi locked eyes with Eren, but said nothing.

The doctor unwound the bandages and Eren sucked in his breath when he noticed the stitches and dried blood. “It will only look better from here,” the doctor reassured, noticing Eren’s uneasiness. When he was finished removing both bandages and the metal splint, they repeated the procedure for the other leg.

“Since the stitches cannot get wet, this is a prime time to wash his legs. Eren, can you fill that bowl over there with water for me?” Eren followed the direction the doctor was pointing and saw a white bowl resting on a stand by the wall. With a nod, he quickly did as he was told.

When he returned, bowl full with water, the doctor had a few other supplies in his hands – a roll of tape, a clean white cloth, and what looked to be some sort of disinfectant.

The routine was fairly simple, but Eren watched observed with steadfast concentration. The doctor dipped in the cloth in the water, wrung it out, and tenderly massaged the length of Levi’s calves, careful to avoid the stitches. It was imperative, Eren noted, to do so with the utmost caution, as Levi’s legs were still extremely vulnerable and weak and any wrong move could reset the bones incorrectly.

When he had finished, the doctor gently dabbed the dry side of the cloth with disinfectant – barely enough to wet it. With a brief warning to Levi, he proceeded to then touch areas along the stitches with the faintest touches. Levi hissed and threw his head to the side, his wings tensing on either side of him, but otherwise remained soundless.

“It stings a bit, but it’s better than to risk infection.”

“‘A bit,’ my ass,” Levi muttered, but the doctor said nothing.

“I keep this disinfectant in the drawer of my desk, so if I’m not in my office, you have my permission to take it when necessary.”

Eren finally took his eyes off Levi to meet the doctor’s eye. “But I thought the drawer and the door to your office remains locked at all times?”

“Don’t believe everything you hear, Eren.” The doctor winked. “I’ll explain the origin of that rumor another time. For now, watch as I demonstrate how to re-bandage his legs.”

The doctor completed the task with minimal discomfort on Levi’s part, resealing the metal splints in with the bandages and finishing the job with the tape. When done, Levi finally relaxed completely with a soft breath of relief.

“Do you have any questions?” the doctor inquired, casting Eren a sidelong glance as he gathered his supplies.

Eren shook his head, hands behind his back. “Don’t believe so, sir. Thank you for demonstrating.”

“Of course.” The doctor straightened, nodding to Levi and Eren in turn. “If you have any questions or concerns, please see me. I’ll be checking in frequently regardless. Find me tonight, Eren, and I’ll go over those exercises we talked about earlier.” With a smile, he excused himself.

Eren followed the doctor with his eyes until he closed the door behind him. He remained standing by Levi’s side until he couldn’t bear the silence anymore; gazing at Levi with sad eyes, he quietly said, “That long?”

Levi stared back evenly, breathing in and out. In and out. “That long.”

Eren’s wings sagged with defeated. “Six months— _god_ , Levi, I’m so sorry, I—”

“Stop fucking apologizing!” Levi’s stare had melted into a molten glare; he raised himself onto his elbows, pleased that the change in his tone had startled Eren into silence. “It’s always ‘sorry this’ or ‘sorry that’ and you keep blabbering until I can’t fucking take it anymore!

“Yes, this is your responsibility. I choose to say that instead of ‘your _fault_ ’ because you had good intentions behind your stupidity and I could’ve chosen to watch you die, that was on me. Or maybe you wouldn’t have, with your damn regenerative lizard-like abilities or whatnot, I don’t know.

“But what I _do_ know is that you need to stop blaming yourself – move on and give me a fucking bath already.”

Eren was too shocked to be angry. He had no reason to be – Levi wasn’t mad, he could tell. Annoyed, but not mad. He was trying to beat sense into him and from what Levi had learned from experience, it took more than gentle reassurances to convince Eren. After his initial surprised reaction, Eren actually felt the corners of his mouth tug upwards. Levi noticed; his scowl remained, but a sparkling light entered his eyes.

“Go get it ready. I’m not going anywhere.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh, this is my first attempt at a chaptered fic, so please bear with me! I don't predict that it will be very long...


End file.
